


Listening Through Silence

by PStarkRogers



Series: Morning Glories [2]
Category: Batman (Comics), DCU - Comicverse
Genre: Character Death, F/F, F/M, I'm really sorry guys, Multi, Sadness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-16
Updated: 2012-10-16
Packaged: 2017-11-16 11:25:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/538916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PStarkRogers/pseuds/PStarkRogers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i> How do you breath, when your world is ending? How do you listen, when you can't even hear? </i>  </p>
<p>Cass has always had Stephanie by her side, and now that she's gone, Cass is falling apart. What is she going to do without her? How is she suppose to raise a baby on her own? And what lengths is she willing to go through to get only friend in the world back?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Listening Through Silence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tabithian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tabithian/gifts).



> I started this story at work one morning and I can tell you now that it's not going to be as short as I had orignally thought. lol. But these things have a mind of their own. So please tell me what you think and any thing you think needs improvment. Thanks! 
> 
> Also, special special thanks to Tabithaian for being such an inspiration. Her amazing works inspired me to start writing in the Batfamily. Thanks Tabi!

_She was screaming, she knew she was screaming. She was crying, begging, pleading. Begging the universe to give her back her friend her sister. She was venting all of her anger. Her anger at her father, for making her into a weapon to be used solely for death. Anger at her mother, for letting him cripple her and use her. Anger at Tim, for never quite trusting her, and never helping her when she truly needed it. Anger at Slade, for abusing her and using her. Anger at Bruce for dying just when she was finally getting used to things. And Steph..._  
  
 _No matter how much she wanted, she couldn’t be angry at Steph. She supposed that had always been part of Steph’s charm; no matter how much you might want to be or how much she deserved it, nobody could ever be angry at her. At least, not for long. And even now..._  
  
“Cass? You going to be ok?”   
  
Cass turned her head slightly, following the hand on her shoulder to the face of the man beside her. Tim. Yes, of course he would still be here. He had loved her too. Cass stared at him slightly, but this time her eyes did not read the language of his body. She couldn’t hear the soft words, couldn’t hear anything over her own screaming in her head. She finally looked away from him, staring at the plain tombstone in front of her.   
  
_‘Ok? No...No, I don’t think so. But...How do I say that? How do I tell him? There are....There are no words for this feeling. For this pain. For this....emotion.’_  
  
She stared at the tombstone in front of her, and she read the big words engraved on it. _‘Here lies Stephanie Brown. Mother, sister, fighter, friend. May she fly on the wings of angels.’_  Cass blinked rapidly, feeling a pressure gathering behind her eyes. And then she felt wetness sliding down her cheeks, running rapidly as the pressure built and built, breaking the dam that had been holding it back.   
  
But no. She could not show this weakness, this emotion. Or at least, she couldn’t show it in front of Tim and whoever else might be waiting. So she pushed back against the flood, and she locked it away inside for another time, another place.   
  
“Cass. It’s going to snow soon. We should go.” His voice was soft, and hollow. She had seen him deal with death before, and she knew that, like herself, he would shove the emotion down until he could be alone where no one could see him. She knew that.   
  
She also knew that right now, she couldn’t tolerate anyone’s pity, or sympathy. She wasn’t used to them, and she didn’t want them. They were useless to her, as useless as screaming and begging was. She knelt down in the freshly turned earth and she pressed a hand to the ‘S’ of Steph’s name. She traced the ‘S’ with her fingers, softly, almost as if she was tracing Steph’s lips again. She could see their last night clearly in her mind.   
  
_Steph had been sitting on the bed, holding her little baby girl. She had been humming softly, some kind of “mother’s lullaby”, as she had told Cass. Even though Cass had made no noise to indicate she was there, Steph looked up. She wasn’t surprised; no by this point, Steph was never surprised by Cassandra. She just smiled, and held out her little girl. “Would you like to hold her?”_  
  
 _Cass had come over silently, her feet making no noise on the soft carpet. She had sat next to Steph on the futon bed and she had taken the baby, holding it like it was the most precious thing in the world. And it was, wasn’t it? Baby’s were perfect, and they were born clean. Cass smiled, and her body radiated her joy and happiness. The baby had cooed and reached out and Cass had given her one of her fingers to hold. She stared into the soft blue eyes and then looked up into a matching pair of blue eyes._  
  
 _“She’s perfect, isn’t she? So cute and innocent and sweet. Beautiful.” Stephanie smiled at Cassandra, and the smile said so many things. Things like happiness, joy, contentment. Peace, calm. And yet when combined with the whole body it suddenly said something different. Kiss me, I love you, love me, hold me._  
  
 _So Cass had. Cass had listened to the words of the body and she had taken her hand from the beautiful baby to gently brush Steph’s lips, brushing them with her soft fingers. Steph had trembled, and had opened her mouth slightly and her body was saying yes, yes, good, good, kiss me, love me, hold me. So Cass had. Cass had leaned in slightly, making sure to keep the side of her that was holding the baby angled just enough that the child would not get squished between them. Cass leaned in and gently kissed Steph’s lips, kissing them with all the fire that she had always kept contained, but felt for almost as long as she had known Steph. It was gentle; and yet passionate. And when Cass pulled away a few minutes later, after soft kisses and the soft brushing of tongues, she smiled and she stared into those blue eyes, those blue eyes that even after six years of knowing each other and loving each other, she had still managed to surprise. She raised an eyebrow thoughtfully, although her smile only grew._  
  
 _“It just....It just always surprises me how someone so contained can be so lovely, so passionate, so amazing.” Steph smiled, still looking slightly amazed. “You’re just...You’re beautiful.” She held her arms out and Cass handed her the infant. Steph smiled at the baby and coo-ed slightly, making little noises that got her a smile. She glanced back up at Cass. “Me and Tim finally settled on a name.”_  
  
 _Cass raised an eyebrow, knowing Steph would understand the unsaid question. “We decided on Sandra. After...” She glanced away again and stared out the window at the glowing full moon. “After your mother. We figured that she’s really just as much your child as she is ours.”_  
  
 _Cass blinked, stunned. Even though she knew how much Tim and Steph loved her and treated her like family, she hadn’t expected this. Never this. “Steph...”_  
  
 _“Yes, yes I did.” Steph cut her off. “She’s just as much your child as she is Tim’s. Hell, she’s probably_ more _your child than Tim’s.” When Cass raised an eyebrow and chuckled, Steph rolled her eyes. “Oh you know what I mean. You’re here more often, and I’m sure you’re going to pay a hell of a lot more attention to this baby than Tim. Don’t look at me like that. Yes, I love him, but...” Steph blushed and the back of her neck turned red. “But I think I love you more.” Her words were soft, quiet. Her body whispered scared, vulnerable, truth, honest, love me, touch me, rejection, pain._  
  
 _So Cass reached out, gently laying her hand on Steph’s shoulder. “I do love you. And I...I am honored. There are no words for these feelings.” She smiled when Steph turned to her, tears in her eyes. “Then I have a question to ask you.”_  
  
 _Cass narrowed her eyes at that statement, at the twinkle in Steph’s eyes. “Alright...Ask.”_  
  
 _Steph stood up and laid Sandra down gently in her bassinet, and then she grabbed a tiny box off of the wardrobe. She came over and knelt on one knee on the carpet. “Cassandra Cain, will you marry me?”_  
  
 _Cass blinked and the world seemed to slow and narrowed. It narrowed to just her on the bed and Steph kneeling on the carpet, holding out a beautiful sapphire ring. It narrowed to the darkness that was Cass’s natural space, that was her constant companion. Cass stared at the ring, then looked at Steph, listening to the words that only she could hear._  
  
 _After listening for a full minute, she nodded very slowly and whispered softly, “Yes, Stephanie Brown, I will marry you. I am....Touched, and honored. It means more to me than....Than anything at all.” She reached down and took her best friend’s hand, knowing all the things neither of them could say. “Lay with me. Here, in our peaceful spot.”  Steph smiled and nodded, even as the tears glistened in her eyes. “Cass...”_  
  
 _Cass just smiled and pulled Steph to her feet. “No more words. There’s no need for them. I know.”  Steph nodded and pulled the silver diamond-and-sapphire ring out of the box and slipped it onto Cass’s ring finger on her left hand. “I love you.” Cass smiled and whispered into Steph’s hair. “I love you too.”_  
  
 _They spent the night there, on the bed, just the two of them. Sometimes they made love, other times they just laid there and talked, both with words and their bodies. And when Sandra cried, they fed her or changed her and then brought her over to lay with them, sheltered by the warmth of their bodies._  
  
Cass sighed as she blinked her way back to reality, back to the dreary gray skies and the freshly turned earth. She let out a soft breath of air and finally stood up and turned towards Tim, knowing what she had to do next, even though she knew the whole family would fight it. “Tim, I want Sandra.” She knew there was a word for what she really needed to say, but she knew Tim would understand what she wanted anyway.   
  
Tim blinked, stunned. His body spoke of confusion but not surprise. Cass narrowed her eyes at this. “You are not surprised. Why?”  
  
Tim smiled, but it was a sad, bitter smile. “I already knew you would want her. And I already know about that ring you’ve spent the whole day playing with in your pocket. She told me. She asked me opinion on the ring and on the proposal. She loved you Cass, more than she even loved me. You made her feel special, and loved. Yeah, I may have been the one helping in the _physical_ creation of Sandra, but you were the emotional and mental reason that child could exist.” Tim looked away as tears started to trickle down his cheeks. _Pain, sadness, talk to me, hold me, I need somebody, help. Don’t touch me, don’t come near me, shattering._  “I loved her. I did. And I love you and Sandra. I just...” He sighed and shook his head. “I think I need time, this time.”   
  
Cass nodded, because she knew how he felt. Solidarity and being alone were sometimes the best cures for a broken heart. But because of who he was, she couldn’t just let him go. Not without being sure. “Tim...” She bridged the distance between and gently wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “I....I need help. With all of this. Will you....Will you stay, for awhile?” She pulled her head back and looked at him, waiting.   
  
After a minute he sighed, and gently wrapped his arms around her. “Yeah, I’ll stay. I’ll get things settled with you and Sandra, and I’ll talk to Bruce. And we’ll uh...We’ll try to figure how to raise Sandra together, alright?” He smiled and it was a little more hopeful, a little bit lighter. “Thanks.” _Thank you, need you, hold me._  
  
“Your welcome.” _Thank you, need you too, help me._  
  
“Come on. I think I hear Sandra crying. And I don’t know that I trust Dick and Damian with our girl.”   
  
Cass smiled at that and then released Tim, although she did slide one arm down and take his hand in hers. She gave it a gentle squeeze and they turned their backs on the grave, although Cass knew that she would be back.


End file.
